Posts Tagged ‘Alzheimers’

Is Bonding Overrated?

Posted: September 1, 2011 in My Life as Fiction
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Imagine that you decided to write a 20 page paper on Alzheimer’s for a job promotion. You also decide to ask your mate to contribute guaranteeing success, some free editing and lots of bonding. Your mate wants to be well-informed before helping you. He reads every article on Alzheimer’s, orders books etc. He begins writing the outline for you, wanting it to be perfect, repeatedly asking you to read every new edit – usually around midnight. You start wondering, “Do I really want this promotion that badly?”

You clear your schedules and figure between the two of you it will go fast. Your mate now feels an ownership of the paper since he put so much time in and wrote the outline. You begin writing, adding your own input and feeling good about it. You stop and ask for feedback from your “help mate.”

He abruptly announces, “You are not following my outline!” and you respond with “Of course I am!” He volleys, “That’s not the way you’re supposed to do it!” You backhand, “Are you blind?” He then regales you with his new vast knowledge of Alzheimer’s and you respond defensively with, “Whose paper is this anyway?!”

In-between all the bonding the dog is whining and dancing around your feet. He becomes the perfect target for your frustration. You point towards the door and shut it behind him. Your dog shows you he can get frustrated too and relieves himself on your best rug.

“Helpful Mate,” continues with his unsolicited advice and you leave the room to collect yourself. You end up at the nail salon just for the complimentary hand massage. You bond for life with the nail girl from Vietnam.

The next day you sit down together and try again. It’s a new day, new mate, and things are going well. You are smiling and getting a lot accomplished. The dog starts his antics, but you are wiser this time. You let him out first then lock him out of your room. Hours later it is time to call it a night. You hug your collaborating partner, and feeling euphoric can’t wait to share the experience with your friends.

In the kitchen you pour yourself a celebratory cup of coffee and reach for a leftover doughnut. You suddenly notice the empty box on the floor. Looking around frantically you spot the dog in the next room snoring, a dusting of powdered sugar glistens from his nose. You sigh, plop down, and switch on your favorite documentary channel. The narrator begins: “Tonight’s subject? Are animals good therapy for Alzheimer’s patients?”

You didn’t need that doughnut anyway.